Can you believe that in all this time, last week was the first time Jill has seen my seaside pad? Yes, many paint colours were discussed. Yes, many junk shops were visited. Yes, a big breakfast was consumed in the caff. It was lovely to take her on a tour of the hipster highlights and embroil her in long conversations with local shop keepers. We went and walked round the back of Dreamland to give the roller coaster a good Instagramming. And it was brilliant to show off the state of the house – such as it is. Jill said, “Oh you’ve got all the things you’ve been going on about for ever.” She was talking about my faithful recreation of this picture from Closet Visit, which has been haunting our Pinterest since 1995.

She had a good laugh at how many chairs I’ve managed to cram in. Fair enough. Much to my delight she also envied my ever-expanding swan vase collection. Ha! It’s all thanks to my French connection – they love a swan vase across Le Channel.

Sadly for Jill she had to go back to London before I pounced on my latest purchase. I found this collection of three postcard-sized oil paintings in a plastic bag in a junk shop. I love them! They are all done on what is not much more than cardboard, and are very much painted in the style of groovy US TV artist Bob Ross (fans of early Peep Show will know him as ‘God’). I love that the two larger ones make a complete landscape picture whichever order you place them in.

Eventually they’ll go up by the sea, but first I have a secret purpose for them… to be revealed here soon….