This is Margaret Tyler at her home in Wembley, north London. She has a collection of around 10,000 Royal memorabilia items including mugs, teapots, plates and plastic bags. Yes, plastic bags. You can bet she didn’t yell ‘who cares?’ at the tv when she found out about the engagement of Kate and William. Maybe I know someone who did that, maybe I don’t.

Royal fan Margaret’s collection is, according to this article, insured for £40,000 though she doesn’t care how much it’s worth because she ain’t selling. The same feature claims that a pair of Queen Victoria’s knickers – okay, it actually says bloomers – were sold for £4,500 at an auction in 2008. So if you are going to invest in Kate n’ Wills the brand, then bear that in mind. Pants trump mugs.

Madness, yet look where scornful me keeps tax return receipts…

A kitsch hand-me-down coronation tin from Gran. It’s ironic an’ that, you know?