Invited for dinner at My Friend’s gaff recently, talk between us – to the bafflement of the gents present – turned to tea towels. My Friend had a Mr T towel which I think started the whole thing, and we were both comparing designs and the superiority of pure linen like a couple of scullery maids. Well, my endless enthusing payed off, with tea towel gifts from two separate sources.

The Thornback & Peel lobster print tea towel (60% linen for those making notes) I had actually spent a lot of time appreciating loudly, but the ‘Will Patrons Kindly Refrain’ towel from Loveigloo I hadn’t seen before. Except of course as a child at the swimming pool, where my prudish 7 year old self couldn’t imagine why you’d want to bomb, pet or smoke anyplace, least of all the municipal pool.

Still my favourite though is another of Grandma’s family heirlooms. A Guinness tea towel, from the days when she ran a pub. 100% linen baby. Dries like a dream. The design of cartoon strong men is just about still visible, though my house guest waggishly said ‘I thought they were just stains.’

Ultimate respect though to my brother. This Christmas I discovered his flannel was in fact a Watney beer towel, also from the pub. How manly.